The failed kidnapping of Shippo
by tidalryu
Summary: The story of how I came across a jewel shard and went back in time to kidnap Shippo and make him a master of chess. Of course it doesn't work, and I am forced to travel with the Inuyasha gang while I try to find a way home.


There is a boy of 14 years walking down a dark alley. He has an old wooden bow with an arrow nocked in it. He is sweating because he has been running. His eyes are wide with fear. Suddenly a low thumping sound begins. He tenses and points his arrow in the direction of the sound. It gets louder, louder, LOUDER! Suddenly a huge shadow appears at the end of the alley, and from the corner comes a purple elephant! The boy screams and runs in the opposite direction, shooting arrows behind him, mostly missing, the ones that DO hit seem to have no effect. He keeps running down a maze of alleys until he comes to a dead end. He turns around and whimpers. The elephant rears up and lets out a long bellow. The bellow becomes the sound of his alarm clock...

Tidalryu: /wakes up screaming, then pushes the button on his alarm clock. He is in a cold sweat and his bed is soaking wet from the sweat...he hopes/

Tidalryu: that was SO scary! That's it! No more Animal Planet before my nightly elephant horror movie!

Wadra: Tidal? I came in because I heard you scream! Were you murdered?

Tidalryu: nope! Not today!

Wadra:... darn... 

/Tidalryu's...dark side if you will, Wadra, lives with him because he is bound to him. He hates Tidal beyond meaning and wishes only for his death, doom, unbirth, etc./

tidalryu: awwwww, Wadra, your just kidding! /hugs him/

Wadra:...ok...anyway, here's something in the paper you would like, and by here's something in the paper you would like, I mean here's something in the paper that would make you leave the house for an undetermined amount of time.../shows him the newspaper./

Tidalryu: thanks! /reads/

Paper: Shard of the legendary shiikon jewel of four souls on desplay today at the town square!

Tidalryu: ok! /leaves the house/

Wadra:.../smirks, presses a button and the floor flips over to reveal furniture of ultimate funk and a disco ball on the ceiling/ lets get started.../jumps into the middle of the room and starts doing disco dances to an audience of hardly clothed girls/

/at the town square/

important looking man: hello everyone! I'm sure you came here today to see the jewel shard, but first you have to watch my daughter sing the national anthem!

Girl with glasses, braces, buck teeth, and an inhaler on her belt: /starts singing, her voice breaks and she takes breaths from her inhaler numerous times/

Man: ok, now that about half of you are dead.../grabs a tarp and rips it off the reveal the jewel shard on display/

Tidalryu: /walks up on stage and takes the shard and goes home/

Man:...hey...

/an undetermined amount of time later/

Wadra: /sees tidalryu coming and presses a button to make everything back to normal/

Tidalryu: I'm back! But I'm only here to get this! /takes a plane ticket to Japan/

Wadra: hey, that's mine!

Tidalryu: Yeah it is!

/on plane/

tidalryu: /rolling up and down the isle making airplane noises/

man on plane:......

tidalryu: /continues to roll/

man:............../mouth and eye twitch/

tidalryu: /rolls and rolls and rolls/

man: /jumps out the window/

tidalryu:....oops...../sits down/ now to reveal my plan to the readers.../takes out a piece of paper entitled the "constitution of the United States of America". On the back is a plan written in purple crayon./

Take jewel shard from stage....check!

Take Wadra's ticket and go to Japan....check!

Go into Inuyasha world and locate the gang....

Kidnap Shippo and take him home....

Teach Shippo how to become a master at chess....

/plane lands/

tidalryu: /runs out into the streets of Japan /WOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /rolls around on the ground/

Japanese citizens: Oo

Tidalryu: /runs into a wall numerous times/...oh yeah.../runs to Kagome's house....yes, its real....it is....TT BELIEVE ME!!/

Tidalryu: /goes down into the well room and looks into the well/ wow...there it is....

Voice from behind: who are you?

Tidalryu: /jumps and turns around with a back kick/

Sota: aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh /flies in a spinning motion away into the sky and disappears with a star and a low /ding/

/in America/

Wadra: /reading the paper on the couch/

/Sota falls through the ceiling with a crash/

Wadra: /looks up from paper, shakes it once and continues reading/

/in Japan/

tidalryu: oops.../jumps into well/

tidalryu: woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woah! Woooooaaaaah!

Snake lady with many arms: roar! I take your jewel!

Tidalryu: no!

SLWMA: ok /leaves/

Tidalryu: /comes out in the meadow and checks something off of his list/

/meanwhile with the Inuyasha gang/

Miroku: now?

Sango: no

Miroku: now?

Sango: no

Miroku: howabout n-

Sango: I WILL NOT BEAR YOUR CHILDREN!!

Miroku: ok...ok...what about now?

Kagome: /thinking/ (Inuyasha sure has been acting strange ever since that demon bug thing ripped off all of his body parts and reattached them in different places and then showed Inuyasha pictures of Sessho-maru and Naraku playing horse shoes. I mean its not like it concerns me, but I just worry about him because I....NO! WHAT AM I SAYING! HE LOVES KIKYO!)

Inuyasha: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT KEGOME! /starts spazzing out/

Shippo: Inuyasha is spazzing out!

Inuyasha: /hits Shippo/

Shippo: Inuyasha hit me!

/meanwhile, with tidalryu/

tidalryu: hmmm....where are they..../hears something kinda like Shippo saying "we're walking!" AHA! /runs in the direction of the sound/

Well everyone, that's just about it for now, I'm tired of typing. (my hands hurt) I'll update soon! Sooner than you think!...I think....OO read and review! Flames welcome!


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